Pissant …

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SOB 22-yo male patient is on Facebook bragging about manipulating the nurses on the unit into giving him drugs. “I’m so fucking good at making them think I’m in pain.” He threw his toast at a CNA this morning because it, “Wasn’t fit to feed a fucking dog.”

He leaves his phone on and logged in to Facebook when he goes to sleep at night …


Get ’em up, move ’em out …

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As a Med-Surg nurse, you take the assignments they give you. Some days you win, other days you resign yourself to being amused. Today’s line-up of patients, one any med-surg nurse would envy –

  • “Toga Boy,” a 20-yo who refuses to wear clothes, whose current girlfriend sleeps in his bed and spoon feeds him, and who has spent the last three weeks wrapped in nothing but a sheet.
  • “The Dripper,” a 34-yo woman sporting an insulin drip, IV parenteral feeding drip, IV fluids drip, and patient-controlled narcotic drip.
  • “Mr. Demento,” a seriously demented 80-something who spent last night mooing at the staff. Today he’s arguing with me about the “tall wooden Indian ladies” in his room who are playing with shotgun shells and shotshell boxes and who are going to blow their fingers off unless I stop them.
  • “Hoss,” a 57-yo Hispanic guy who fell off either a horse or a house, we’re not sure, because all he says over and over is “Fell off hoss! Si!”

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